My Enneagram Journey

Our family began attending a new church three years prior to these conflicts.  We attended the first church for 25 years and loved it dearly.  We were very involved and had many longtime friends.  Despite my extensive efforts, I was not making friends at the new church.  I felt the loss of not belonging.  My old friendships seemed to be hanging on by a thread.  Our marriage deteriorated as my frustrations grew.  We were no longer serving alongside one another as my husband pursued many roles in the church on his own.  I felt abandoned, isolated, and hopeless.

Our children began attending a Christian school five years ago after I homeschooled them for twelve years.  The older ones were off at college.  I was anxious to find purpose, not wanting to waste the prime of my life.  I found myself bouncing through volunteer and work positions.  I longed for flexibility but felt unfulfilled because of my lack of meaningful commitments.  I anxiously prayed for God to reveal His plans to me.

We met with a counselor for six weeks.  I was disappointed as she quickly attempted to fix several surface issues we brought up.  I wanted her to identify the underlying root of these issues.  I longed to know what I was doing so I could take responsibility and hopefully change.  I desired that understanding the others’ perspectives would enable me to truly forgive.  It just so happened, as God does, that several unrelated people in my life started bringing up the Enneagram to me.  I decided to dive in, hoping to unlock the unknown parts of my personality, hoping for answers as to why my life felt empty, and hoping for direction to find personal healing and growth.